I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
