i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
