Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
