I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
