So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
