covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
