He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
