I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
