please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
