The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize
