Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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