My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
