Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
