Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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