I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Randomize
