he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just had sex on a roof
Holy sore nipples Batman
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
