If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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