grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
