So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
