Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
