He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
