i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
