After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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