when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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