Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
