Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
