So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think your dad took our porno
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
