Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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