you guys were way drunker than both of me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
