I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
how drunk are you?
Several
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize