great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
