i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
