he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize