i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You smell like stripper and shame
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
