Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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