it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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