Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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