hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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