so that wasnt chicken after all
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
