theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
