I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
