Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This house was built for laser tag.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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