i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
