If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am naked and annoyed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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