So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
