I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
