because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
