just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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