Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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