shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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