Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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