3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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