why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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