I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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