who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
