i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
