I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
a search helicopter?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
