In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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