yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
