Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
