I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize