there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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