I'm going to jail i love you
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
