lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
