If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
