He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
