We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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