was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
