my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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