What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
