Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
