I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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