I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
