I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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