I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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