I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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