At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
