Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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